Sunday, April 7, 2013

Barbarians at the Gate: Life After Not Absolutely Loving the Remake of "Evil Dead"


I thought Evil Dead (2013) was OKAY. There. I said it.

After the screen dimmed, one of my best friends looked me in the eyes to gauge my reaction. After shrugging my shoulders, signaling that I thought the movie was okay, I literally saw 9/11 happen in his eyes.

Departing the movie theater still friends(even though I'm still expecting a friendship pink slip in the mail), on the way home I stopped by my local watering hole to meet up with some other friends. At the bar was an array of characters: close friends I have known my entire life(and that threatened to burn my house down in the first grade), friends that I see now and then at bars, and new friends that I have met for the first time that night. Though most of the people from all three groups have not met each other until that night, they all had one thing in common: they absolutely loved the new Evil Dead movie. After saying that I thought the movie was okay; watchable but nothing special, I seemed to completely alienate the rest of the bar.

I empathized with Western Roman Emperor Honorius as this massive barbarian army surrounded me; shouting their love for the new Evil Dead while ransacking my criticisms. That's when I suddenly realized: this is now my life. 

I love Evil Dead (1981), Evil Dead 2 (1987), and Army of Darkness (1992). I don't know why I seem to be the only one who saw Evil Dead (2013), and really felt nothing afterwords. I didn't regret seeing it, but I wouldn't sit through it again.

Gore is both the strongest and weakest thing about the Evil Dead remake. The movie is technically stunning and probably one of the most accomplished in its use of practical special affects and makeup. There are scenes in the film that I couldn't believe weren't CGI. But at the same time, I feel like the only reason this movie was made was just to be gory; everything else is secondary. Evil Dead isn't the slightest bit scary, containing the few cheap jump scares that infest every modern horror movie. It seems that instead of making a movie that is scary, director Fede Alvarez wanted to just make a movie that was supremely gory. But gore alone just doesn't do it for me anymore.

Another major problem with the Evil Dead remake is that it constantly kowtows to the original in all the wrong ways. It never gets to be its own film. While those that defend the new Evil Dead insist that this is a totally new re-imagining of Sam Raimi's classic, the film is littered with shots taken straight from the original. Now, I'm fine with using shots that nod to the original, but it doesn't work in this film. The fast camera movement and demon POV shots seem out of place in this grim re-imagining of Evil Dead. What the film should have borrowed from the original is more of the camp and charm. There is no humor in the remake of Evil Dead. The film takes itself far too seriously. There is no way you can make tree rape not funny. Sorry.

Lets talk about the deadites, if you can call them that. I don't think you can, because nobody was really dead. In this modern twist, Evil Dead sort of feels like zombie backwash. Demonic possession is spread through infection via blood transfusion and bites. Also, these deadites aren't scary. In the original Evil Dead, they filled the film with dread as they taunted their victims; playing around with them. Again, the deadites in this film feel more like zombies. Part of the reason I think the deadites aren't that effective in the film, is because it takes itself so seriously. The deadites in the original Evil Dead are scary at times, but they are also really silly.

Acting wise, Jane Levy (Mia) is really the only one who shines in this film. But again, gore was the main character, and it performed spectacularly.

The biggest problem with Evil Dead (2013), is that it brings nothing new to the genre. Everything in this film has been done already. It fails to be singular enough in its achievement to be memorable. I just feel that this movie is Evil Dead for people who haven't seen the original Evil Dead.

Though I said Evil Dead brings nothing new to the table, it has changed my life. As the weeks go on, I'm sure I will find myself defending against larger and larger hordes of fanatical Evil Dead zealots, as we argue over drinks or maybe knives. The Goths are at the damn gate, and somebody has to keep them back.

Now, even though I said a lot of negative stuff about Evil Dead (2013), I'm not saying you shouldn't go see it. When you are talking about modern horror movies, especially modern horror remakes, you are wading through a swamp of shit. The remake of Evil Dead is one of the better horror remakes I've seen in a while. While its reliance on the original stops the film from reaching its true potential, it does set it apart from other modern horror movies. Director Fede Alvarez seems like a good new addition to modern horror, I just want to see a feature of his that is his own, not a poor, modern imitation.

Stay after the credits. Best part of the film.